I'm not in the mood for yaoi. It's a very strange and foreign feeling that I'm not used to. So I thought I'd come and rant about it... But really, I'm not in the mood for anything... well, unless it was really really good. Like yesterday I read the latest chapter of Sakende Yaruze, which is brilliant yaoi! But everything else I have is so generic, and most of the time pointless, that it gets painful to read after too much... well, sorta... other times it just inspires me to be generic too. ::starts writing out the ideas and deletes them:: They just make me grimace with the mood I have now. :S ... ::thinks for a minute:: My hentai 'me's gone on vacation... I'M FREE!!! ... ::pause:: ...I'm so lost and kinda bored now...
... So when I don't read yaoi, what do I do now? ... ::turns the volume up for 'Blow up a Go-Go':: Good music is the key! ... The problem is finding music that suits this mood of mine. Strangely enough, that doesn't encompass anime music (unless it's really really good... that's always the exception ;) )... ::suddenly dawns on her and a loud high-pitched squeal escapes her mouth:: I'm not in the mood for anime! I did notice it kinda yesterday, but really, it's strange. (Unless it's really really good) I don't wanna watch anything. :S
Speaking of the really really good, I read that Samurai 7 has been licensed. Panicked over that, but a group is going to continue it. Don't know what their subs are like, but I don't care as long as I get my Samurai 7 dose. I haven't encountered any bad subs for months now. In fact, there is only one group I prefer not to download stuff of, and that's just because they don't do the karaoke (certainly in Soukyuu no Fafner anyway, and that's Angela songs, which I adore singing to, even if I fail at hitting the notes ;) ).
Well, I have no work tomorrow. So I plan to sleep. And then read Discworld. Challenge myself and see if I can finish the book. The one I'm currently on is Small Gods. Om amuses me considerably. XD And since I'm very much amused, it shouldn't be too hard to get at least 3/4 of the way through it. I think I'm just really really happy about being able to read again. 2 years of no books does this to a geek! I start finishing books in 3 days, which is record time considering I just started reading again about 4 months ago. ;) And I'm enjoying it soooo much! :D
I think my mum is getting seriously irritated at giving me a lift to the bus station every morning. She was practically demanding that I learn to drive. I don't ask her to. I would walk. Actually, I'd prefer to walk that drive. Sleep is good, but having the time on the bus to read or dream is much more precious to me. In fact, I'd like it if the bus journey was even longer. I can't really be bothered with driving. I'm not one to like taking tests unless absolutely necessary. And there isn't anywhere I want to go these days that I can't get to by bike or train or bus, or if nothing else, taxi. Although the best choice is always bike. It's free! I won't deny there have been times when the thought of cycling to Kilmarnock for work has gone through my mind. Ridiculous idea. I'd probably have to leave at 4 in the morning to arrive at work, and consiquently collapse in the doorway. XD ::bludgeons unconscious the 'me' in my head that thinks this is a good idea::
Well, the house is empty just now and I have to do dishes... then I think I'll just read Small Gods now. Better the chance of finishing tomorrow afterall. Reading books this fast is all the better for letting me read them again in the near future. I remember nothing of it, except if they make me laugh or cry, either of which make me want to read it again desperately, just to find out why. XD I've decided that while some people have a memory like a seive, I have a memory like a hole. Sometimes things hang about the edge, but everything falls into oblivion eventually. And if I'm really lucky, some things evolve wings on the way down and pop back up again. ::rolls eyes::
::wanders off singing 'The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All'::
Xilmin visited the Elves at 07:40 PM
27-Sep-2004 08:00 PM
Daydreaming's a drug. I'm addicted. ::sweatdrop:: I have to wonder if anyone on the bus notices the variety of changing expressions... :S But right now I just wanna sit back and dream some more, so I thought I'd rant here instead. Least this has something to show for the time spent.
As to real dreams... I dreamt that a new manga was being released called Maya. It must have been yaoi because then I got an email from the people at Game Over or Continue asking me to edit it. And I got really excited... Boy I wish I could remember the manga itself. It probably would have inspired yet another story idea if I could.
And later that night (well, morning really) I had another dream. It started off Grand Theft Auto style and I had to destory a ship, so I pull out the trusty rocket launcher... and it doesn't work. Then my subconscious created memories (which is always does, which doesn't help my already confused grip on what's real and what's not) and I 'remembered' how I had destroyed some other ship. Jump on, pull a hatch off and gain control. But apparently this ship was capable of turning into a submarine, and I accidently turn a wheel at the bow of the ship and it submerges. Stupid stupid design. What's the point of having the changy thingy on the outside of the ship? ::grumble grumble:: ... I never like the dreams where I'm underwater... I never like anything involving water... :S And I tend to dream about water a lot. I remember I once had dream after dream after dream over several months and each one of them involved water. Probably signifies something... that I don't like water, quite probably! ;)
::goes to find music to listen to, and settles on Elvis:: I'm really in the mood for this sort of music lately. Old style rock n roll. I've also been listening to Stray Cats a lot. Brilliant stuff. Amuses me. :) And if it isn't that sort of music, it's celtic stuff, although I can only listen to so much of that before it all starts sounding the same. But I need more of this sort of music. Particularly rock n roll... but I don't know what to look for, which is a problem. :S
Another thing I really want. More stuff like Gas Tank Mania! A CG Japanese thingy that I recorded off TV ages ago by accident (it was on just before Blood the Last Vampire). It's by Tomioka Satoshi. Check here and look at some of the images. I'm kinda disturbed, but rather intrigued by some of the other stuff. Gas Tank is the 2nd one on the 2nd row. If you've seen the Honda advert with a whole load of people putting together the word 'OK' and then the typist sneezes and types 'What If', then you've seen his stuff. :) I wonder if there is a DVD with a collection of his stuff...
What made me think of Gas Tank was a preview of an anime that I think is coming out in October. Something called Sunabozu. I saw the main character and instantly thought of Gas Tank. And I'm very intrigued by the preview. Looking forward to it coming out.
::notices reflexion:: ... I look like Death... with hair... I could really do with more sleep. It's just I can't drift off to sleep quickly. Ever. The later in the evening it gets, the more active my imagination is. By the time I go to bed, I've got a plotline lined up to explore and end up playing it out until it leads to me going to sleep because I'm too tired to come up with anything else. And sometimes I pick the music I listen to wrongly and end up getting all hyper. Like 2 nights ago when I listened to a song by Gaelic Storm. That was a bad idea. I couldn't sleep for ages after that. :S
Anyway, I'm off. Don't know what I'll do while I have supper. Not been in the mood to watch much anime lately... although I did watch Oseam (Korean anime movie)... just because I was listening to my Science Fiction album and music from Armageddon came on and made me want to watch something that would make me cry. Oseam suits that perfectly. Once it got me started, I wasn't tear-free for longer than 5 minutes before I started up again. Aaaah, it's a very sad movie. :'(
... I was leaving, and I still am! Good night!
Xilmin visited the Elves at 09:13 PM
24-Sep-2004 08:33 PM
I am reminded once again that I have no life. I went into town yesterday, and upon looking at my bank balance, the first thing that comes into my head is "it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!" and pathetically enough, I meant that in all seriousness... and I still do... ::rolls eyes:: And what do I spend the most glorious of all things on: books! In my mind, 2nd of all glorious things...... ooooh... but what about Compy... given the choice, if I had to pick between having as many books as I could ever want and spending an eternity on Compy... ::only pauses for a moment:: Books! Definitely books! For eternity, that's definitely the choice. It's just the hourly choices that tend to lean towards Compy. :S But books let my imagination run wild in a way that nothing else can. And I do so like my imagination... well, that's not entirely true. Nah, my imagination's fine. It's the other parts of my head that have access to it that worry me...
I think I may wander into town tomorrow and buy some more books. I bought 3 yesterday, but somehow, that's not enough. I'm going to buy all the Discworld books eventually anyway, so I might as well buy lots and keep me going for a while. There's just something about the Discworld series that drawns me in. I think it's the fact that if you pay attention, you see all the little links between everything. It's the style of Terry Pratchett though. I remember reading Good Omens for the 2nd time in a short period of time, and I got even more enjoyment of it because I noticed the things that didn't seem important at the time but all of a sudden become actually important to following the details of the story. I need to read it again. And what I really want to read again is Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents. Well, I can't exactly say 'read again', because I got it on audio tape at the library. But it made me cry, and I want to find out why because I've forgotten... ::sweatdrop:: Plus it was mentioned at least twice in the Reaper Man, which is the book I just finished. ;)
In addition to the books, I've also been playing my Discworld Noir game... which is a game that while not exciting, it's still very difficult to drag yourself away from once started. It's also a game someone like me can't play without a walkthrough... ::is reminded of a conversation in the game and laughs:: Laredo Cronk or whatever the characters name was... Lara Croft, in other words. I was so amused over her.
Laredo: What is a walkthrough? Only people keep asking me for one. I hope it's nothing to do with sex.
Main char: .................. Mind just boggled there. Sorry.
That's another thing about the Discworld that I find appealing. It brings in things from this world but details them from a different point of view. Like Holy Wood. That was genius. And the mall in Reaper Man. Although that was weirder than usual. ;) But what I can't wait to read is Lords and Ladies. "With a full supporting cast of dwarfs, wizards, trolls, Morris dancers and one orang-utan. And lots of hey-nonny-nonny and blood all over the place." Really really really looking forward to that one. :D ... although I know deep down that I'm just reading through these desperately searching for the next Rincewind book. XD
... As you can guess, I'm in a very Discworld mood... can't understand why considering most of my time the last few days has been spent playing Grand Theft Auto.... I don't try to understand that... I just try to stop playing it too much. Doesn't usually work until it crashes on me, and I go play Discworld Noir until it dies on me too. Evil Windows, mocks me. But I'm not going to make any attempt at getting games like those working in Linux. I can forsee my computer snapping at me... :S
Alright, one last thing that I will comment in reference to Discworld. There are so many quotable moments (or at least quotable in the context of the plot, but I don't usually think about that sort of thing when I note them down). One of my more favourite recent ones definitely has to be: "Cowards make far better strategists". I can associate with that so well. XD And another one I noted yesterday: "Occasionally people would climb the mountain and add a stone or two to the cairn at the top, if only to prove that there is nothing really damn stupid that humans won't do."
And my dad plans to do just that this weekend. XD And my mum's left for a Tai-Chi thingy. So (as long as my dad does actually leave) the weekend is mine alone... well, mine and the dog. I wonder which of us will be more injured by the time my parents get back. Going by the marks on my arm, it could be me. Although the dog got a whack over the head for that one. He looked really shocked, and I was consiquently amused, and pissed him off a whole lot more afterwards. XD I really shouldn't be left in the presence of animals. Once I learn the way to piss them off, I utilise it to the best of my abilities. If that doesn't work, I'll train them in the ways of 'me' and make them completely useless as pets (like Saku's last dog ::laughs evilly::... I miss that dog... ::sweatdrop::)
... I suppose I could talk about work... not much to say really. My nerves are as shot as ever. And that tendency to smile at everyone is really pissing me off. There's been a couple of occasions where I get asked why I'm smiling considering the topic at hand. Probably the blank expression they get afterwards is answer enough for that. :S But I'm enjoying it none-the-less. Got a lot of typing to do on Monday and I think I'm even looking forward to it. The manager photocopied pages out of a book or something and asked me to type it up and add it to the Health and Safety Policy (a waste of space and a lot of paper in opinion). I just dread the day that they might use an OCR. Where's the fun in that? ... as ever, I have this to say: I have problems... XD I really do amaze myself at how I can find boring fun... I am reminded of Rincewind. I dream of the mundane life... that's not true. I dream of an exciting life. But I want a mundane life. ;)
Ah yes! Dreams. I haven't actually had any that I've noted down simply because there weren't enough memories to make sentences out of them. But what I can remember of one night consists of: road... bike... village... turn around... beach... people I don't know... water... something... and it all fades away. But what was really strange was I was rambling to myself about that dream and dreams in general, and the word chaos slipped into the jibbering, and this triggered feelings, as if I'd had a nightmare... well, I use the word 'nightmare', but it would probably just confuse rather than disturb most people. My 'nightmares' always consist of the same thing. Shapes and shadows. A lack of colour. Noise, like hissing on an untuned TV. A cold chilling sensation, that feels like something's running its nail along your bones. ::shudders:: Don't like! Not like at all! I've come to the conclusion that chaos my hell. Chaos within logic is fun, but pure chaos without logic is so disturbing to me. Not that I actually remember having that nightmare recently. This is just memories from childhood. I haven't actually had the nightmare for years now. Just very occasionally I have the sensation of it when I wake up.
... Well, that drifted on to a topic that was so very joyious... I'm hot. It's so very warm in here. Ah, my room is becoming the sauna that it always is in winter. For winter is coming, and I'm loathing the idea. People have already been mentioning Christmas at work. Oh, bugger, is all I can say on that. I don't want to be part of any celebration. It is a hellish time where I try and cower from as many people as possible. Nothing good ever comes out of winter. Except more money. ::suddenly dawns on her:: Ah! My birthday's in winter... Ah, crud! Can people just forget that I was born and just accept that I exist. I don't do celebration! Particularly of myself. :S
Well... I've been here for a while now. Not exactly made up for the complete lack of blogging these days, but I'm too lazy for that. So I think I'll just wander off and decide where to watch Samurai Champloo or Kurau... On the one hand: samurai! On the other hand....... why do I like Kurau so much. It's one of those that I tend to watch almost as soon as I download it, but I can't figure out the appeal. Well... this is going to take a while, so I'll just finish up here and rant to myself over the decisions...
Xilmin visited the Elves at 09:40 PM
Basics
Name: Xilmin Nerrar (might as well be when I'm on the net ;) ) Nick: Xi (I have more, plenty more!) Gender: Female Age: 18 Birthday: 1st Nov (gimme a pressie! :P ) Sign: Scorpio Home: Scotland E-mail:xilmin@yahoo.com
Favs
Food: Ketchup (or anything with ketchup! [I mean anything]) Drink: Irn Bru! Colour: Red, Blue, Yellow, White, Black, Green (depending on my mood) Time: Night Season: Summer Activity: Computers, anime, drawing, writing, reading, dreaming and thinking Music: Anime/J-pop, Rock, Metal, Classical (anything but boy-bands and opera!) Author: Terry Pratchet Movie: Lord of the Rings, Matrix, Star Wars (there's loads more) TV show: Red Dwarf Anime: Jungle wa Itsumo Hale Nochi Guu, Jubei-chan, Planetes, Full Metal Alchemist, Kyou Kara Maou, Konjiki no Gash Bell, Melody of Oblivion, Fruits Basket, Excel Saga, Hoshi no Koe, Samurai 7, Figure 17, Samurai Champloo, Chrno Crusade, Read or Die, Full Metal Panic, Stellvia of the Universe, Shadow Skill, Macross Zero, Hyper Police, Matantei Loki Ragnarok(There are very few anime I don't like ;) ) Manga: Houshin Engi, Parfait Tic, Koi wa Itsumo Arashi Youni, Koori no Mamono no Monogatari, Love Mode, Menkui, Sakende Yaruze, Soshite Haru no Tsuki, Eternal Sabbath, Tokko, Shin Angyo Onshi, Paradistar, My Name is Zushio, Apocripha, Midare Somenishi, Chrno Crusade Seiyuu: Okiayu Ryoutarou, Koyasu Takehito, Ishida Akira, Hoshi Souichirou, Hayami Sho, Miki Shinichirou, Matsumoto Yasunori, Morikawa Toshiyuki, Sakurai Takahiro, Seki Tomokazu, Miyamoto Mitsuru, Inoue Kazuhiko, Morikubo Shoutarou, Midorikawa Hikaru, Yamaguchi Kappei, Seki Toshihiko
